Some Problems in Friendship

Few people deny the facts that friends will be a great support when life throws a curve ball to you and it is very important to have friend(s) to confide to. In other words, friendship is one of the most substantial and crucial relationships in our lives. Contrary to the fix relationship between family members which is formed by nature, friendship is a kind of flexible relationship. It probably means that it is up to you to choose who to be your friends and how to maintain the relationship. Of course, friendship is harder to be handled with than other relationships and there are always some problems in friendship.

First, it’s hard to different the straight and the judgment. I always want to count on my best friend to give it to me straight, but I hate to be judged. On the other hand, I like to have a frank exchange of views with my friends. However, I am afraid of being too criticizing to my friends. In my opinion, the solutions of this problem depend on different situation. I’ll become noncommittal, even dishonest to my friend in trivial matters. For example, I will say to my friend: “Blue looks great on you”, even though I think it’s awful. But I’ll try to, most of the time, engage with my friends and answer forthrightly and honestly.

Secondly, distance and time could destroy the friendships. No matter how close you and your friend were, it’s very hard to maintain friendship if you and your friend haven’t seen each other for ages or lived in different countries. As you know, time makes it’s difficult to catch up and distance makes it’s hard to stay in touch. However, we can contact each other conveniently due to current technologies, such as email, cell phone, Facebook, Twitter etc. In spit of juggling work, kids, and all of life’s other stresses on a daily basis, nowadays, we can be much easier to keep in touch than used to be.

In order to maintain precious friendships, we need to realize that there are some problems in friendship. How to be straight but not judgmental? How to overcome obstacles of time and distance? The solutions of the first question depend on different situation. And current technologies help us to solve the second question.

Is canada my dream place?

As a newcomer, I am attempting to overcome problems of not only settling in Canada but also finding the contentment of mind. Is Canada my dream place? Can I gain satisfaction of all my needs in Canada? Although I succeeded to immigrate to Canada and have lived in this country for almost 4 months, it is still very hard to answer these questions. In some cases, Canada is the dream place that I eagerly looked for in the past time. But in other cases, Canada isn’t the Garden of Eden or Utopia.

What attracts me mostly in Canada is the social core value of freedom and equality. From my experience of living here, I great fell that freedom and equality that I dreamed to have in my home country go deep into every aspect of social life. For example, wherever you live, a luxurious detached house or a small simple apartment, you can use the community facilities equally. Whatever religion you believe in, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, nobody will compel you to abjure your faith. Wherever you came from, Africa, Europe, Asia, South American, you have the same right to get education, community service and medical care.

On the other hand, living in Canada is not living in paradise. Contrary to the common myth, it is a big challenge for newcomers to live here. At first, the newcomers who are not used to the low temperature probably are unaccustomed to the long cold winter of Canada. When I think this land has been covered by snow for half a year, I can not help shivering. Secondly, it is hard to overcome language barrier in looking for jobs or contacting local people. Sometimes I am frustrated because the kids' English is much better than mine. Thirdly, it is a bitter experience to separate from family members. What really sticks in my mind is how sad my Mom looked when she said goodbye to me at the airport.

Rewards and risks are two sides of the same coin. It means that it is a great honor but also a huge challenge to live in Canada. I could breathe freedom and enjoy equality here and it is the first time I have them. Considering this dimension of the situation, I think Canada is my dream place. However, there are both natural and social obstacles I have to overcome. From this perspective, Canada isn’t my dream place.